I’m Claiming A Mulligan!!

In the game of golf, a Mulligan is a “Do Over”. I’m calling one on today! Not all of it–but I would certainly like to take a huge portion of it back and try it again. I was up late last night waiting on $1K Tuesday-I know–I vowed I wasn’t going to do it–but I was in a negative place emotionally and not quite ready to go to bed. So I stayed up watching for the big money. Then I got up with the boys to get them out the door to school, and then since I had been up late–I went back to bed. I can’t do this! It may not affect anyone else-but it literally kills my day. So I got up and started cleaning and packing-except that it feels like I’m cleaning and packing the same things over and over and over and getting no where. At 1 I have to leave to pick my kids up from school and we raced back to the school here so they could say a final goodbye to their friends. That’s when the Mulligan would begin! My blood sugar dropped and I was in crisis.

If you suffer from Hypoglycemia-you know when you are crashing. If I can catch it quick enough I can generally salvage the day–but as soon as the sweat breaks on my upper lip–I’m toast! I was on the playground rounding up four kids as fast as I could when it broke. I raced home as fast as I could, my mind racing for anything at all at home to help with this –and all we have in this house that stands a chance of battling this - Poptarts! I know–awful-horrible–jelly filled cardboard–but it was sugar–and that’s what my brain was starving for. So I grabbed the poptart, and a bun–and head out the door.

I told the oldest two boys that I was calling in their “contracts” and that they would be gathering all of the laundry from all over the house and get it to the laundry room for sorting. After the sorting was finished and their homework was done I would let them play outside. I got two “Yes, Ma’am’s” and thought we were doing great! I knew we wouldn’t be–but it certainly sounded good! So we get home and their best friend knocks on the door, I told him they would be a while–and my oldest lost it! Yes, I knew he would–and he refused to live up to his contract. Grayson did all of the clothes himself and now Jake gets to sort them all.

I’m still suffering the side effects of crashing blood sugar wise–and it was an awful night. Horrible things were said–and I’m sorry–as much as Mom isn’t supposed to say this stuff–it was all true–and I’m so tired of being the yelled at, screamed at, told how terrible I am as a mother, I hate you, I wish you were dead, why do I have to live here—you get the idea–add into that the fact that a great number of items are thrown at me–and you know–I’m sorry—the emotion that is a no no to voice, was voiced–and at the moment–I mean every word of it!

I just wish I could go back to noon–and start again!